Are brides, being wedding dress shamed?

By Sara Jones

I bought my wedding dress many months ago. It was the first thing I wanted to get off my wedding planning list, as I had extreme anxiety with finding the dress – feel free to read my last post picking THE dress.

The short rundown was i was extremely anxious and uncomfortable. I felt horrendous as I had no idea that dresses are made at least 2 sizes smaller than the high street.

Although I love my dress, I had some hesitations and worried if I would fit into it when our wedding day come about, so I immediately told myself I was going to lose weight. I wanted to lose weight before being engaged and that was for me but what better way to be motivated by your own wedding, right? Well over the next year I lost weight, put it back on and repeated the process. I am currently still the same size as when I bought my dress and in someway succeed in my mission as my dress still fits perfectly and has become my dream. As a size 12/14 and knowing this isn’t a large size, I felt at the time it was and buying a size 16 wasn’t my idea of a beautiful blushing bride that I had secretly imagined in my head – hence my mission.

I continued to fluctuate with my weight, however, having recently read an article online by BRIDES, I started to wonder who, or more so what, I was doing it for. Was I really doing it for me or to look a certain way because that is what a beautiful bride is? The article is mainly about how women shouldn’t shred for the wedding as their significant other already loves them but as I read through the article, I started to think that maybe women lose weight because they feel ashamed of buying a bigger size or have to, due to the limiting options of dresses and how they’re made. You are forced to buy a larger dress but the larger you go the fewer options you have, as though a larger woman should not be happily engaged or in love.

I do agree with the article, women shouldn’t change just because of the wedding, they should want to do it for the immense positive wellbeing and what healthy and physically fit brings but due to the lack of dress shops stocking over a certain size or shops with judgmental shop assistants make women feel as though they should. Despite the fashion industry starting to realise not every woman is the same, we still live in a society where beauty equals thin.

Weddings are fun, exciting and stressful, sometimes all at the same time. No one can l that planning your day is an emotional rollercoaster, so why is it that we make women feel they should lose weight adding to their stress and already high emotions – turning them into a bridezilla, a person we try to avoid. Maybe we should encourage women to think that they are beautiful no matter what and have the wedding industry increase their sizes and styles so that we don’t forget that a wedding is about the couple and the love two people have for each other, instead of encouraging that a wedding is about a certain look.

And like the ’brides’ article said ‘We need to stop believing that in order to live our best lives, we need to be peak skinny. Let’s use the time we spend measuring ourselves up to others, feeling bad about our bodies, or hell, crying in fitting rooms, to create our own happily ever after’.