Is asking for ​money at your wedding acceptable or Vulgar?

Name of Person

As many of my friends are getting married, I am beginning to receive many invites for the beautiful, yet excepted, wedding day. Within the invites, it is not unexpected to see a small line asking for contributions to the honeymoon. The poem can go along the lines of ‘Instead of pots and pans, we’d like a little fun for our honeymoon’ but is it right to ask for a contribution?

When i started creating my own invites, I didn’t think it would be an issue. Granted like most, I would rather not have the traditional toaster to add to my cupboard. I wanted a line to say ‘Your presence is more in important to us, therefore, gifts and cash are not necessary’. Taking the gift drama away for many.


However, as I read other people's opinions, I saw that some think that it is vulgar – As one Mumsnet user put it. Now I personally would not describe it as vulgar. Nevertheless, I do believe that when a couple asks for a contribution, guests think it is paying for the honeymoon. Which most of us can agree that we wouldn’t normally pay for their friends holiday. So, why would a honeymoon be different? After all, it is essentially a glorified holiday. Is it not?

I see the poem as giving clarity to your guest, it’s human nature to want this. Having a note saying what you want is a good thing but it is down to the couple and your feelings of the note. Ask yourself would you really contribute to your friend’s honeymoon? And if not, why expect your guest too?


Also, consider other ways to ask for contributions. Ask your guests to contribute to the activities that are on offer or rethink the idea of a traditional wedding present. As I said most of us are expecting the wedding so why do we think that wedding gifts should be the same as it has always been. The same ‘Setting up Home’ package we received for moving in together.


Either way, thank your guest personally or perhaps send them a photo of them and you on the day. And for me, I’m sticking to my poem. I want my guests to attend and be present for me and future hubby than panic over a present.